Tuesday, May 7, 2013
I was scrolling my newsfeed when I saw his picture. He was sick. I wanted to ask him how he’s doing and what happened to him. but I can’t.. I spent hours typing and backspacing and no matter what I do, I just can’t send it. I can’t help but think that he’s family and friends are there for him and that he doesn’t need me.. I suddenly felt self pity.
I saw his present. I stalked her. Her page, her twitter, her blog. I thought they’re just a bunch of silly couples, like we we’re before and that they’re no serious.. And then it hit me.
I read her posts. I read how much she loves him and how much she’s lucky to have him. And to be honest, I think actually, they’re lucky to have each other.. and I know nothing. I can’t explain what I felt. my tears ran through my cheeks. and I feel like somehow I’m strong writing this post, though I might breakdown, cause it was all just this afternoon.
I re-read our past conversations. Saw his drawings for me. I remembered everything. It was painful. I feel so stupid for not seeing that everything I wanted was him… And I let him go.
This is so embarrassing, but so darn true. You never really know what you’ve got until you lose them.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I wanted to wish him back.. But that won’t probably happen cause for one, it’s no more secret and two, nah. I was just kidding. That’s plain mean and selfish. And besides, I got nothing on her.. on them. They are perfect for each other and I am definitely not exaggerating.
I just wish that everyone knows what they’ve got. And won’t take things for granted. Be contented. And always be thankful. May it be, blessings or lessons in life. And I hope this one come true, though it’s no more secret.. My heart will forever be grateful for having him. And I will always pray for him and wish him well. :)